I woke earlier than desired, my attempt at sleeping in failed, to a puffy face with eyes swollen from crying before going to bed.

*aside* that is a damn good sentence */aside*

People arriving for the weekend around 2pm. I have to go pick them up. The guest space is clean even if the main floor is a bit cluttered.

The Honey had a friend over last night to talk over what needs to be done for the cabinet that was falling off the wall. Its contents are all over the dining room and office now. *see cluttered

Its done raining for now. That could be the cause of some of the puffiness. It is 62 degrees out now and it supposedly feels like it. According to last night's forecast, it is supposed to be 93 on Sunday and feeling like 107. 30/40 degrees difference in three days is not nice Mr. Weather Channel.

X-posted to DW

after an email from my half-aunt I am left feeling bereft of my niece and wondering if I will be 75 when I finally get the chance to reconnect with her. How interesting the patterns than families repeat though they do not know them.

So many of my children are hurting or in flux right now and I am powerless to do anything about it save keep loving them and letting them know that it is unconditional.

I have a list of people I want to get into a car with a red and black aluminum baseball bat, drive to their house and beat into hamburger. I don't know that I would really feel better but I'm pretty sure that my children would be safer and the world would be a better place.

*sobbing*

S looks so much like me.

Apparently rheumatoid problems and fibro run in my family. I never knew.

Nite folks. I'm for sleep. Can't brain any longer.

X-posted to DW

So. I know the classic racist cliche is "all those people look alike." And the inability to distinguish people of another ethnicity from each other is a fairly standard marker of prejudice.

I have moderate to severe difficulty telling faces apart in general; I tend to run with context, haircuts, and broad categories, and if those change or are too close to someone else's, I can't tell people apart without a lot of familiarity. (I've occasionally mistaken my sisters for each other, or not recognized them immediately, after not seeing them for more than a year. I only have two.) And this difficulty gets worse with PoC, especially if my brain keeps categorizing hairstyles I'm less familiar with as roughly the same thing.

This is a minor inconvenience when it comes to watching movies with a bunch of white guys in suits who I keep mistaking for each other. This is a problem when it comes to my inability to recognize people I interact with on a semi-regular basis. If I've been sitting next to someone in class three days a week all semester, I should be able to recognize them when passing them on campus, and often I can't.

I do not want to be the person doing the "all you people look alike!" thing to PoC. Even if I'm not phrasing it like that. Even if it's true for white folks too.

Does anyone know a way I can fix this, or work around it better? "I'm terrible at recognizing faces and remembering names" may well be the simple truth, but if there's a way to fix this, I'd really rather do so, rather than keep assuring PoC that, hey, it's not my fault I'm confusing them with other PoC. It's not like I have complete face blindness--I can recognize most people I deal with on a regular basis, if I do so in multiple contexts--so I'm hoping there's some way to make this better.

I feel like I've lost a bit of mojo in fitness terms in the last 6-8 weeks. I managed to keep a pattern of active choices, rather than sedentary ones. Working on getting things back to a healthier pattern these days. Summertime presents some opportunities I don't usually get during the school year -- for bike commuting because I don't have to transport children all over town in the evening, having a bit more time in the mornings because I don't have to supervise breakfast and bus schedules, a decrease in the order of magnitude of housework, etc. I hope to make the most of it.

Haven't re-gained more than 2-4 pounds, which is a great relief, especially since food intake went berserk during major stress. ::sigh:: If I can keep up 2-3 days/week of C25K training, get to TKD class ~2 days/week, and maybe commute to work by bike one or two days/week, that'll be pretty good. I'll need to keep reserving about 4 hours/week for yard work, which isn't exactly a workout, but still takes time and energy out of my personal budget and leaves me all sweaty and tired. I'd *love* to get back to some sort of strength training with the weight machines downstairs, or perhaps do ridiculous Zumba with PB before she departs for college, but those are level two priorities because they require seriously dedicated time and coordination with somebody else's schedule. Trying to invest more in things that only require input/output from ME because there's allegedly more control/influence there. We'll see.

More than anything, this week I will focus on recuperation and moderation: drinking enough water, getting enough sleep, and packing my lunch instead of indulging in the portions served at the office cafeteria (which are yummy and can be healthy, but are usually just too plain BIG).

Heaven is of Honey
and kisses
beeswork
blossomchannels
How do I know?
How could I forget?

Heaven is in the making
a buildingsite
a possibillity
If there's a glimpse of it
In the little dance of tongues

As a reminder!

Heaven is all remembered
is an idea
for idiots
possessed by gods
that just waste space
and in case I wake up without a pen
I do not want to forget

Heaven is of Honey
and kisses
Royal Jelly
for the queenbee
in the center
How do I know?
How could I forget?

by Einstuerzende Neubauten

X-posted to DW

Hello,

Is it justified that this 245x184 gif that is based on 78 images would have a size of 1.6MB? Or can the size be reduced greatly?

I'm very sorry if my question is very noob, but this is my first time making a gif. :(

I've decided I'm just not up to reviewing all those horror films we watched the other day in depth. So here's just a quick blurb about each of them.

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark - Big-budget remake of an obscure TV movie about a lonely little girl sent to live with her father and his girlfriend who are restoring the house of a famous 19th century illustrator who disappeared under mysterious circumstances. Then she starts hearing noises from the basement... Written and produced by Guilermo Del Toro and as good as you'd expect based on that.

Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil - Hilarious deconstruction of films like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Hills Have Eyes, etc. Tucker and Dale are two likeable, good-natured hicks trying to relax at their new vacation home. But a series of misunderstandings and gruesome accidents cause them to be mistaken for backwoods serial killers! Horror comedy is a tricky proposition but this film does it right.

The Caller - Tense, grueling thriller about a woman already fleeing from her violent ex-husband when she begins receiving phone calls from a disturbed woman who becomes obsessed with her. The twist? The calls seem to be coming from the year 1979! Stars Rachelle Lafevre and Stephen Moyer who prove they are entertaining to watch even when not moving at super vampire speed.

Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon - Another deconstructing horror comedy. This one is set in a world where Freddy, Jason, Michael Myers, and every other horror film slasher you ever heard of are real people terrorizing small towns. Leslie Vernon is out to join their ranks and hires a documentary film crew to chronicle his first killing spree. If you've ever watched a slasher movie and wondered how the bad guy did something this film will explain it. Horror fans will appreciate seeing Kane Hodder in a cameo and Robert Englund in a supporting role... and they're not playing Jason and Freddy despite the fact that they exist!

The Eclipse - Netflix classifies this movie as a supernatural thriller but it's not. It's a mopey, maudlin love story that just happens to have a handful of jump-scares. A widower who works for an Irish literary festival gets stuck acting as a chauffeur for a soft-spoken Englishwoman who writes horror novels and a drunken, narcissistic American literary novelist. It's fun watching Aidan Quinn do his Ernest Hemmingway impression but otherwise it's just a slow, boring film about people so wrapped up in their own problems that supernatural events barely even faze them.

Dreams In The Witch House - Made-for-cable adaptation of one of my favorite H.P. Lovecraft short stories. A physics student moves into a crumbling tenement and discovers his oddly-shaped room might form an intersection between dimensions. Despite some truly awful special effects, the absence of Nyarlathotep, and the addition of a shocking and gratuitous sex scene it actually does a good job of maintaining the original story's atmosphere and remains otherwise true to the plot. Honestly though, in the 40 minutes it takes to watch it you could just read the original story and have a better experience.

On a different note, I don't know what's worse: the fact that an eight year-old accompanied by his father came up to me at work and asked for Grand Theft Auto IV or that he literally said Grand Theft Auto IV. As in he did not know that "IV" means "4" in Roman numerals. I knew what Roman numerals were at that age, mostly because we had a clock in the living room that used them. So instead of asking what's wrong with the kids these days maybe we should be asking what's wrong with the clocks?

I already knew about Bain Capital because my mom had worked for another of its acquisition companies, Dade Behring, a Biotech company. The same thing happened there.

For this, and many other reasons, I can't trust this guy to be President.

Typing this before going to bed at the end of my two days off. I actually did everything I set out to do during these two days which is something I can't say very often. On both days I have managed to write for my freelance contract, get some musical composition work done, and do a little bit of work on the house. Despite doing everything I set out to do I still feel like I could have done more. Maybe that's just the feeling that comes with being on a bit of a roll. Who knows.

I even had enough time to do some WoW playing which I haven't done in a while and to do some reading. I guess it feels like it was a long couple of days. Oh, also had rehearsal where we did the blocking for the scene I'm directing. That was easier than you might think. I have such a wonderful group of actors and they don't require that much direction. Most of the time their instincts on where to go were exactly the blocking that I had in mind. I am really proud and am so excited to see this performance happen in a few weeks.

The past two evenings were spent watching a lot of horror movies. I'll try to post mini-reviews of them. For now though I should be getting to bed.

home from KC. Mother's Day for new mom and old moms alike. Spent time with bro. Took new grad out to dinner at Swagat. Missed 'mada terribly. Met Nephew.

Lots of driving. Lots of needs from others. Lots of tired and in pain.

I knitted. I listened. I held.

Now it is recovery time.

X-posted to DW

Hi to anyone still reading!

I've notice that, as far as I can tell, no one has started a 2012 Obama community on LJ. (Someone has been squatting on the community name obama-2012 for years, but I think they're long gone).

I was a moderator in 2008, but changes in life responsibility prevent me from doing it again. I would certainly join such a community, though. Is anyone up for it?

Pele, Fire Goddess of Kilauea by Clair Hummel (*shoomlah on deviantart)

Sekhmet from Egyptian Mythology (Goddess of War and destruction, and healing) drawn by Claire Hummel (shoomlah on Deviantart). This was for a remake/remodel on the Warren Ellis forum. "The idea for this particular challenge was to do a modern day version of Sekhmet, as she might appear in comics."

It's so easy to get carried away with gardening...there's a very strong tempation to purchase things because they're so beautiful and make me so happy, but they'd be wrong for the sun/water/soil conditions in the yard, or they'd be more work right now than I can dedicate, or the money really needs to go to essentials instead. ETC.

What we added this weekend, however, was both affordable and sustainable. ( Very happy-making. )

I'm several days tardy posting this....but the winner of the Curiouser and Curiouser contest is Rachel Bellavia(from Blogger)! Rachel, please email me at nataliecparker AT gmail DOT com with your mailing address to claim your very own ARC of THE CURIOSITIES.

Her entry was both silly and delightful, so I'm posting it here for you all to see.



Thank you to everyone who entered! I enjoyed all of your entries and if I could give all of you an ARC, I would!

Family took me to see The Avengers on Saturday night, by which I mean I said "Hey, I want to see The Avengers, so you guys are going to take me. We'll call it my Mother's Day present, okay?"

Anyway. I still have no words for how much I loved that movie. What I can say is that the family vocabulary has been enriched by the experience.Fer instance, we now tell each other to "Banner down." It's a call to seek out one's inner Bruce Banner, to calm the heck down and quit hulkin' out, yo.

"Banner down, man, it's no big deal."

One week from today, many things will be much simpler.

I was able to indulge in a lot of gardening* and housekeeping, which was a comfort on its own but also helped me get a jump on preparing for company this coming weekend. I won't clean the stove or anything, but it sets me up to enjoy graduation festivities a little more if things are Mostly Clean. Between now and Saturday, I think just daily chores and a quick mowing of the lawn will do.

Final soccer games are completed and final band/vocal concerts will be done over the next few nights. Now I need to square my shoulders to prepping for the After-Graduation Gathering we'll have at the house. We're serving "tiny food" -- little quiches and other assorted niblets. There are enough folks coming who are diabetic (Dad) or paleo that I feel I need some ideas for options. Suggestions? Having choices for everyone is important, yo.

Not going to get real fancy, but I might put up a few decorations or (merciful heavens) BALLOONS. ( Have to make a PLAN. )

"Answer with the first single word that comes to your mind"

Kinda fun, except for the part where I kept having to say my "favorite" this or that. I seldom have ONE favorite anything. ( onward! )

Dear self,
Today I woke up and my lungs didn't seize. I looked in the mirror and saw your smile. Hello, again...Gods, I love the mythpunk feel of so many of Florence+the Machine's songs. Especially "Blinding". Have you noticed any similarities in the protagonist of the song's notes to your own feelings right now? Anyways, I wasn't writing to tell you that I remembered who you are, or give you a Mr. Rogers-esque expose of how Florence + the Machine's Lungs will be the album you look back on as your recovery soundtrack this road-running summer.

I'm writing to say that I forgive you for doing what your gut told you was the right thing to do.

Mostly because it was a stupid thing to be upset with you for doing in the first place. Following your gut has lead you to all of the beautiful slinkytastic things in your life, and your life is pretty fraking beautiful and slinkytastic. Your gut feelings are your connection to Eris, just how Eris is your connection to your writing, and writing is your connection to adventure. It was my suggestion to ignore your gut feelings that landed you in a situation where you fell back on avoidant-abuse-seeking patterns in the first place, and then the asthma-ridden race to escape it once I/we realised it. I'm not upset for that. You did need all of this, and then you need it to end. You're human, and we humans do stupid crap when we're in love. Yes, you loved that part of your life. Now, you're going to love this one. I promise.

Follow that gut feeling right out of where you are.

I'm putting the optimism apparatus online. Having found your higher self again, try not to lose me, okay? Oh, and find some pants so you can go host that herb class.

Sincerely,
Raoul

( If curiosity strikes you. )
Stolen off of lilia_blackbear